Thoughts are Your Undoing

Best friend turned lover, that how we're told the story of life goes.
Guys and girls cannot be best friend, or closer than they are with
their friends of the same sex. Oh dear! No, you can't possible. What?

Such a ridiculous world or concept. No, it's true. This barrier
it's needed to not have feelings for the other to know the secrets
that we keep. Ideas enter the mind of a possible future. More than a future.
A connection. Than another. All these thoughts open up to be in
you mind. Taking over how you think daily, how you go about things.
The worst is how you feel. This is where it all goes wrong.

The other knows this moment and time has come. It's not reciprocated.

Never Let Me Go

The waves crashing over me, carrying me from you
in a moment of passion. Torment. This voice carries
my thoughts towards you but lies tearing apart my heart.
Come to me. Don't let me run. I push you as far as possible.
Everything in me is says you should have run. I can't break you.
The way you care and love. It's suffocating. Takes everything
in me to accept that you'll always be here to hold on to,
to care for. A safety that I reject and don't accept but you stay with me.
Waiting for me to stop and accept things the way they are.

Accept this? A thing that brings me in close and feels
like a safety net in this never ending storm. An acceptance,
you make this feel as though it should be right, just, love.
How can this be love when you release me I've given into
this lie? Love is not a storm settling. Its over coming it. The chaos
turns to silence that only makes sense to the those embracing.
Hold on to the truth. Never let passion take over truth.

The Lost

Beginning to an end, an end to a new
what does that even mean? Cutting your passive voice
out of my brain, leaving lace like scaring of memories to connect
to my vain pulsing through to my heart. Moving deeper
it consumes me. My heart beckons for you, my mind
buries you, and lips wouldn't speak you name.

Pace

Which way to run, which way to scream?
What is the proper way to go, so many questions - notes - things
all over the place. This way we could turn. I told you not to.
Then run along this way. Turn. Sharp. Run down. Slow down.
Walk this way. Wait. Pause. Take a breathe. No one else is here.

That tingling feeling of a desire so strong it takes over the mind completely,
Every action and desire is pushed by a single thought, a single pleasure, a moment
that comes so quickly and is over as fast as it began. There is no need to have
this moment stop. A desire this strong only grows till the pleasure has been met.

Nothing can deny or stop it. It takes over every thought. Invading even the innocent
gesture or over view. Guys are judged so much for not using their mind when they think.
Women are the same. It's only worse. Their pleasure is an easier fix they could do
them self. Girls need the pleasure of each thought to be fulfilled. Till that fulfillment enjoy the crazy.

A brisk clean smell, not like rain, but of freshness. This is winter.

A time where snow is supposed to fall, cozy up to the fire, tea,

no one saying anything to you about when you want to say in for

a night to read, watch a movie, or do absolutely nothing.

That is what the season calls for. Or at least the northern part of Jersey.

This season and time of snow, time with family, or time to spend alone.

An old love should effect ones future, but that's all it does.
Moments continue and little things change this way of thinking
but there is that history. Words, answers, phrasing or a gesture can
make all these things come back. I may have forgotten but my heart
won't. This tugging and stress that washed over my body is unbearable.

Times that have long since past come rushing back. A pain that becomes
unmistakable as heartache. Intense pounding with a rush of heart life fire
burning through my heart, down my arm. No panic just shrugging to breathe,
looking for a peace that won't come till I hear words come from you, but even
that won't unsettle this burning in my heart. Making my stomach drop over this
sinking feeling in my stomach as though I should stop and not say anymore
but this drives the words out of me more. I cannot stop my fingers from moving
to say these words that you'll later read, passing on this heartache to reach you.

All you say is okay.