Reality

Heart beats reminding me it's there and I do in fact have one,
slowly pacing how each breathe is to be calming with each
beat echoing to my ears to know I am not to be at peace.
What had been spoken between us is written on the walls
surrounding us
                        I love you
                                         they came out so subtle, like a

quiet whisper in the wind. It could have been easily missed
if he was not listening so carefully. I turn to look him in the eyes
to see if he heard them, did those words come out of my mouth
but that is only what I meant to say with having one of those
adorable moments you see of the man and women holding one

another so closely nothing seems as if it could ever come into
the middle. That moment, should be what this was, we should
be gazing into the other eyes with a blissful smile like neither
of us has a care in the world
                                             they were the only ones in the room.

But no we are in his parents basement watching a horrible movie
and sitting like we're in high school holding hands in between us
and are barely looking at each other. Instead of saying, 'I love you'
I tell him how I don't understand him and all those things he's shared
with me I throw them back at him with saying this is not meant to be

there is no chance for us to be anything more because he is not a man.
A man would want to talk to me whenever he could, see me whenever
he could, would not want me to go a day without thinking about him.
While you can last days without talking to me, have me make the plans,
and have me talk about other guys to you. This is not love, this is no

dysfunctionality, it is a passive boy who cannot handle the passionate girl.

Elegy

Four years, that seems about right

a time when life was suppose be set for you.

The leaves begin to change and

with them brought a new you. We did

not know this would be a new you but the nights of running

gave us a feeling it would never end,

was there an ending to this maddness?

Waiting for the leaves to reach its fullest red

with a burning that could not be described but only seen

by the eyes looking deep for a feeling that

can only be felt from somewhere deep in the

belly or gut or whatever it is that is said to be

trusted when we cannot trust our heart and mind.

That voice stays with me saying to run

and I did. What was there to run from or to?

The leaves have fallen loosing the comfort of

beauty with the grayness of snow to be coming

but the snow only lingers in the clouds a little

longer as a tease to not let us have the blissful feeling of peace

to enjoy the perfectness of winter first snow fall.

The weather keeps us in with a daunting thought of

having no escape. I walk past the door where you stay not

knowing if I’m free to leave or I must stay. Hallway

begins to narrow in on me without sensing the trap.

Isn’t that what this gut is for? To warn against

these moments of being told to run or stay.

A Moment Ringing

A Moment Ringing

A chime singing through the air

with a glow guiding where

to look for the words waiting to be read,

singing continues letting

it be known the need to open.

Turning heads skipping a beat of

thought to hold onto the words

spinning around. A length

which leave a lasting memory but comes

to a short end. Moment of chills

racing through of peace, pleasure,

what could this be? Pulling to reach

the music. It’s now so close a pause

that takes over of wonder what’s being shared.

The moment has come to hold, hold on tight

and never let this moments pass.

Truth,

no trading a yes or no, or playing around

with words to make them a thing to

justify actions or shed feelings.

Whether it be worse the knowledge of

what is to be said or done, seeing

the struggle one goes through to find

this truth for a life that hidden away

is passages looked over by many due

to others action of saying they know

this but rather than sharing 

this truth

riddles are made to have these

answers be sought out, rather than freely shared.

Music Flow

The beat playing along to each move

we’ve made this night. The spinning when the

music has our head in circles in a way

that shouldn’t make sense but to us it

does. With arms pulling our bodies

closer knowing this is how it all should

be so close where air even feels like

it needs to gasp for a breathe.

We don’t want to release this embrace not from

a passion or a desire for me but being close

to a point of a comfort that settles, the music

takes a breathe giving us a silence that no one

else could see how we look at each other without seeing.

Your Name

I can't explain it, words cannot describe nor do justice
to these thought that run through my mind with a
simple mention of life without a thought of you
coming to me. I hold true to these ideas that these

thoughts are false and mean nothing. All thoughts
are connected to some want or desire, that's all
this comes down to. An unknown desire in which
you reached that gives me no connection or answer

to why you match all these things. Who are
you to add these things to my life? A desire to
do better, be great, no to be an unreachable
goal that those think it's hard to even match

what I have done or what I can do. Seems
like a power struggle to be this on top of it
all. But that is so untrue. With you all things are
possible. I see these parts of my life to want

or have done. I make mistakes and fall short
but your name is always there in a small whisper
to realize I'm wrong and and you know what is to
be done and what is to come. I will listen for your

name to be whispered and for me to feel my heart,
soul, and mind to be at a peace that cannot be matched
nor measured, to know that what I am doing is what
you've planned for me because the desire I have for you.

The Light

The fresh air of the day waking up those
who want to be in the light. The warmth it
gives with the happiness that the brightness
brings a long with it. Aluminizing all around

a joy, peace, and love that makes all those
who see through these eyes can know what
is to come with this light. Not just a light
but a way to live life and to be guided through

these ways and know there is a better way
to live, better plan for our life. Opening up
out ears to hear what is to be said, not said
but shown in a way that one can only

understand and make sense for their own life.
Waking up to this fresh air, the brightness, and
warmth is a speciality I never want to miss.

A Time to Giggle

I share a little but think it's
harmless. Like sharing candy
with a baby. However the taste
you return is a sweeter than
any natural nor processed candy

could ever produce, The lingering
of telling a boy you like him
when you know you love him
with all your heart. Scary to share

how you want to give all of you,
will he then share how he wants
non of you but with out

a word just feel like a toy
forgotten by a child whose out
grown it. A waiting to get
the taste out of your lips with

all of you shaking, wanting
to run knowing this is right, i like you.
And he looks you in the eye,
holds you close and tight
and whispers in your ear
                                        I love you.

Right one Came Along

Wondering path full of daisy's
and plush grass all along a picket
fence when anything that does not
belong would be easily seen. All the

perfect covering the lives that created
this wonderful beauty. Streets thought
to be so pure so full of all that's
good in this white city of perfection

of fences, daisy's and grass.
But he's awaiting down the block
for if the right one came along
to be made his in the
         
                                 darkness this city did not want to be told.

Mixed Messages

Looking in his eyes it's easy
to see the love he hides
for her. The subtle looks he
gives with the sly smile. Saying

so much she believes it means.
Her mind races after those
thoughts of all it could be. Him
looking at her wanting to say

how he loves her and the future
plays out all in her mind. Then
she looks again to realize
all he was saying was hello.

Good Girl

Oh dear, oh my what is to
be said or thought of this? This
cannot do, nor could it be. How
could such a thing happen to her?

The beautiful bride waiting at the
alter holding on to a smile only
angles could have. A peace that
she gives never showing a sign of

trouble nor sadness. Here the day
comes where all the disney princess’s
would be put to shame. She makes
her way down the isle with a tear slowing coming down her cheek.

Oh to be Free

Casting away things that were
seen as the way to be. Hair be placed
this way, no can't put those
colors together. All a look that

is meant to be, have to please,
look tells a story of who you are
but more of the daughter they
raised you to be. A name

holds you to an identity other
than your own. A name they've
worked hard to have, they
raised me in their world of

what life should and is to be.
The right hair for the properness
of the days, hair straight and brushed.
But little do they know the harsh

glasses are my own with
bracelets of color or lockets holding
a promise or the clutch purse to
hold onto with all of me inside.

I came here for a little coffee to complete some

work and not with this piles filling, coffee over

flowing I stand waiting for the coolness of your

taste with the sweet after taste. Waiting with the

turns of the machines bringing you to me there

you come. For a moment of a hello, but this

conversation brings on a chance for change

moment to be looked at feeling the welcoming

it brings like a mother to a child whose run away

the love that embraces holds. A process of love

bringing forth the creativity. Small engines turning

heating up the forgotten world this one was that

has been needed to be the best it could be.

A coolness of an iced coffee on a brisk fall day

turning to a happiness of joy and life. Whether it

be the taste or jitters of sugar and caffeine.

Called to know a way that is
    seen as what is right and a role

set to play by birth, placement, universe
      those who make the rules for those who
lay in wait for what is to come but has
yet to come. Or is it to come but not coming

due to choices made, or ignored. Life that
    is right for us but having control takes over

not letting the path be seen, or over looked
     for years and now becomes forgotten in
the ways of life seeing the way through the
control and pleading for way to take one not
                                                                       made to feel alone.

Keep the words needed coming that are
seen as barren passages, needing no
words but all the words lay in the right
place to see. Seen only when looking at
the truth behind the words shown. But knowledge
it needed for these words to be heard
for the cause the sees, knowledge
of what to become in the ended
that only one knows and we're simply a
piece moving on our own guidance
ignoring the ways to go. The struggle
lets it be known of the wrong, but
the words pulled us in to this. The answer
should be shown rather than seek.

Barren streets with the glistening light of street lamps
Showing the way, pulling you out of a world created
For one to see what is to come, to those who
Wait for the one who truly sees them.

See them beyond a life of waiting in the rain.

Kicked back and forth as the keys go from the white to the

black but return to the one kicking off the beat.

Melody caring the ways of the heart through the wind,

unsure of where to turn, how to catch the right heart

playing with them all till seeing one. It is believed

to be able to handle, all this coming towards it

but what it wont know is the ending need a

question they cannot ask.

Clicks

A piece to hold none could match
a way to faze this snowy night
the chills rising but a desired chill
to call up those frosted tips of the

fingers inter laced with mine. A chill
not from the north nor south but
from the soft lips of the hold. Small

tingles a purity and comfort race
through body and mind. Leaving
a winters night for all those who
delight in the view of moon light.

Marvel

A world not bending nor breaking
for a wild change to come a calamity
of words that were innocent. Innocent to
the one spoken and seen but was it truly

as innocent as they were? Were the innocence
spoken or assumed - for what purpose to
feel this way of wonder, wonder what in this
a wondering place of question to life of

seen of marveling. Marvel - yes to marvel
a place of innocently spoken words seen
between two who wanted these things
things of life and love. Love? Whom speaks

of love innocently? Innocent love was a time
in a age where traditions were known and
respected not thought as a thing to be ignored
as a time to change. A wild change to calamity.

Friend

A phone call and get some advice
All that is needed for this tangent to end
of thoughts running through my mind.
Thoughts running rampant, or taking over

me the answer is unsure of the outcome
I'm told to cry out to you but will I receive
the need I am searching for? Like a wish
Shall it be granted? Am I making you a

genie of some sort. Grant me a wish to
know these answer that seem unanswerable.
Are they? Is there an answer under the surface
of it all that I am missing? What if the

answer is not in what they are missing but in
me. I am the one missing, answer yes, it is me,
me the one seeking an answer that is needed for
this riddle. A riddle of life I am ignoring and

running from. Yet running for to find an answer
that has yet to be found. But you are the
beholder of the answer. Yes granting the wish
of crying out to you an bending a knee for

what is being asked. Asked in a quit
cry inside but pushed away, but now
it is all there with having you nearer
with love.

Tangled

Crossing a line feeling safety,
Is this safety? Can this be truly
happening or is this all a place to
be kept a secret. Yes a secret. Why

must this be a secret world. Oh just
us. Only us be in here. Only for us
to know. No one will see what happens
here or where it is to go. A journey for

a duo that was not meant to be
but a duo that will out last them
all. A story disney will envy and
wish he has written it first.

American Dream

Bright light at the end of the tunnel
carriage in the rain? Sunny convertible ride
ending with a walk to the red door, white house,
and blue shutters. Picturesque fairy tale for

those told fairy tales. Fairy tales of what
should come, fairy tales of what
life is to be. Fairy tale of what we are to have.
Unachievable life forgetting the way

we live. With the love we have.
A fairy tale. Fairy tale of what?
See him rounding the sports car with a smile,
sweater vest and khakis. A smile with a

plan. While wearing a flapper hat
heels, and red lipstick. This is it.
Fairy tale ending. Now smile and act right.

Eyes Open

Crazy times in a crazy world,
                    filled with things passed by.
       Passed by those needing it most.
              Most seeing the least.

Keeping the voice hard inside, only for

                    my heart to listen. I feel eyes knowing

       the secret I keep inside.

              The truth wanting to be set free.

What truth is heard?

                    Who knows the truth?

       Is this truth? Are you the truth?

              Truth wants to be told.

But will those see the truth?

Cinderella

Racing fast, can't stop the trembling,
My leg is shaking with nerves.
Feeling eyes on me unsure of kind
or mean.

A thought enters with a perfect world,
but where's the happy ending?

Snow Globe

Kept in your mighty hands,
         a world of wonder that can be
    changed with a little shake.
              But holding no control.

The swirls run wild and they are pushed

         rather then the route chosen.

    A way chosen by the way of the world

              not the beholder.

Weeping by the lost of the perfect

         world given to us, that became

    tainted by the beaten path of the

              selfish and foolish.

Bring those hands to a stillness

         only one can do, bringing the chaos

    to an end. Washing the world

              to a peace of snow falling.

Sharing

Keeping close to not show

the way you've changed me.

I kept you a secret in my heart

not wanting those around to see

the amazing wonders you're doing in me.

I would acknowledge you

but now I understand so much more

of you. The love you share and kindness

that I heard of but can now feel.

I am told to share you.

Instead of sharing I've kept you to myself.

Not letting the world know 

what has changed me but seeing

through my actions your wonders

of the world.

The wonders that simply were words

on a page. A story per say. But

now it's a history book

that is ever changing meaning for my life.

Life I've wasted till knowing you.

Knowing Truth

A world unknown,
          unable to be touched.
    Grace being brought to only be trusted
               by the most loved.

Loved by the one filled with love

          given to the most undeserving.

    Feeling the most entitled.

               Without looking at other perspective.

Being in constant awe

          of the struggles avoided

    but having the greatest struggling knowing

               what is truth.

Keeping truth to oneself is selfish

          but sharing the truth is the weirdest

    but most special thing to be done.

               Making the world known.

Known

Uplifting love surrounding one,

knowing this presence of joy

ever ending love to be present.

Seeing though uplifting, wanting their

joy. Needing what makes them smile.

A brightness of life and love seen.

One answer to solve this question.

A place of peace.

One of love that is untainted.

Cloudy

Rolling a long blocking you out

Letting you sneak your way through a time

or two but never letting you fully break.

A breeze may push me on to the next spot

but I will hold here for the time.

Casting darkness to a world rejecting the true light.

Darkness is what I bring while others

believe I bring them pleasure.

In the end they all want the light but never for long.

Meaning

Going knowing you were the wrong,

Thinking they were causing the problem

you the solution

in the end you were the problem.

Solution you seek in in you.

Dazed

Tummy tumbles,
Spinning of sickness,
Throat is getting tight.
Head is getting spinny
tired head.

Throat becoming hard to swallow.
Vomit may com
Please hold back
the smell is storng
Body is weak.
Need to stay strong.

Moving a new

breeze in the air.

Kicking harder to be higher.

No one to touch.

The birds fly by

doing as they please.

Clearing a mind of trouble

releasing to the Lord

praying for peace.

For now fly in a new world.

Rebirth

A greater distance is growing from the love I felt.

Your names becoming unfamiliar

Washed away from my memories

Thoughts of a new are strong.

The past still holds on,

Yours are a lie, and myth

The Big Foot to my life,

I believed I saw you.

New clothes, new outlook, new shoes.

All who I wanted to be

Which you chipped away slowly

Losing myself in the world of you.

My hour glass of love for you has run out

The clocks have stopped ticking

The storms coming to wash it all away

Holding on to what I thought was true is now ripped away.

Leaving a place where you never went

But was a major part of

Starting fresh without you

Happy you are worthless, knowing I deserve more.

Why I feel for you I'll never know

It was a relationship of the fro and scorpion.

You got our ride, and killed me when it was over.

Only I did not die.

I'm reborn to a new life.

One that feels right

I'm in love, not with you.

With who I'm going to be.

Home

Finding what is right with a bunch of wrongs

Not knowing how to say the right thing,

Getting tongue tied to find the truth.

Looking to the world with a closed mind.

Failing before even beginning. Walking on the same beaten

path afraid to change to something that's right.

Afraid the new path will bring pain.

Put the past behind and take

on this new adventure.

Please Lord let your lamp guide my feet.

Do not let me stray.

Bring me home to where I belong.

Riddle

Four walls of a car

two of a friends

twos of strangers

two of lovers.

Where do they stand?

Do they speak?

Do they hide?

Do they kiss?

Yearning for the new

Knowing a world beyond the sea.

Trapped on an island of past.

Land slowly being added to the coast,

Traveling the way,

Watching it gradually expand.

Sinking slowly with waves digging

me deeper down.

Where's the ground to stand on?

Abandoned

I hate that I miss you

Your face is fading from memory

Replaced by a figure I know

Reminding me of who I loved.

I can sense your touch but without the meaning

Your scent catches me off guard.

Coming for the moment

Life is moving fast while I walk circles.

World has moved forward but my hearts trapped in the past

Summer ended as did your life.

My love grew while yours was a twisted game.

Leave me so I can love and forget you.

Thief

Knock my while I'm being casted out,

I was all you had left holding all the weight

You casted a side on my back.

Holding strong to keep you strong,

Defending the winds that came,

Like a mountain for you to take refuge in.

Slowly climbing up my side with your spike,

Leaving your mark ever so slowly,

To reach the summit with no return.

Little pieces falling to the waste side,

I barely noticed at first to almost not miss them,

Till all that was left was scares.

Turning to be steamed over to nothing.

Winds knocking off the rest.

Standing naked a lone with nothing left.

Searching

Where to go, knowing this life is incomplete

I thought I found the way at the bridge

I crossed rather than going under

The flooding came in knocking me off.

Bracing for the rock to take hold of,

Water grows strength to wash farther

down to not have a place to stand,

Grabbing hold of the lending heart.

Seeing the eyes of the truth of light,

Opening to a promise to save,

Always and forever another day,

Once in a promise rather then two divided.

Forrest Edge

A greater distance is growing from the love I felt.

Your names becoming unfamiliar

Washing away from my memories.

Thought of new ones gripping tightly.

The past still holds on,

Yours are a lie.

A myth.

The Big foot to my life.

New clothes, new looks, new shoes

All who I wanted to be.

Which you stole

Losing myself in the world of you.

My hour glass of love ran out,

The clock stopped ticking

The storms coming to wash you out

Holding to the the thoughts of us.

Leaving in a place on the forrest edge

I watch you enter.

I sit in the fields to embrace the warmth of the sun.

Rebirth to a live I was promised.

Blue Sky