Reality

Heart beats reminding me it's there and I do in fact have one,
slowly pacing how each breathe is to be calming with each
beat echoing to my ears to know I am not to be at peace.
What had been spoken between us is written on the walls
surrounding us
                        I love you
                                         they came out so subtle, like a

quiet whisper in the wind. It could have been easily missed
if he was not listening so carefully. I turn to look him in the eyes
to see if he heard them, did those words come out of my mouth
but that is only what I meant to say with having one of those
adorable moments you see of the man and women holding one

another so closely nothing seems as if it could ever come into
the middle. That moment, should be what this was, we should
be gazing into the other eyes with a blissful smile like neither
of us has a care in the world
                                             they were the only ones in the room.

But no we are in his parents basement watching a horrible movie
and sitting like we're in high school holding hands in between us
and are barely looking at each other. Instead of saying, 'I love you'
I tell him how I don't understand him and all those things he's shared
with me I throw them back at him with saying this is not meant to be

there is no chance for us to be anything more because he is not a man.
A man would want to talk to me whenever he could, see me whenever
he could, would not want me to go a day without thinking about him.
While you can last days without talking to me, have me make the plans,
and have me talk about other guys to you. This is not love, this is no

dysfunctionality, it is a passive boy who cannot handle the passionate girl.