Reality

Heart beats reminding me it's there and I do in fact have one,
slowly pacing how each breathe is to be calming with each
beat echoing to my ears to know I am not to be at peace.
What had been spoken between us is written on the walls
surrounding us
                        I love you
                                         they came out so subtle, like a

quiet whisper in the wind. It could have been easily missed
if he was not listening so carefully. I turn to look him in the eyes
to see if he heard them, did those words come out of my mouth
but that is only what I meant to say with having one of those
adorable moments you see of the man and women holding one

another so closely nothing seems as if it could ever come into
the middle. That moment, should be what this was, we should
be gazing into the other eyes with a blissful smile like neither
of us has a care in the world
                                             they were the only ones in the room.

But no we are in his parents basement watching a horrible movie
and sitting like we're in high school holding hands in between us
and are barely looking at each other. Instead of saying, 'I love you'
I tell him how I don't understand him and all those things he's shared
with me I throw them back at him with saying this is not meant to be

there is no chance for us to be anything more because he is not a man.
A man would want to talk to me whenever he could, see me whenever
he could, would not want me to go a day without thinking about him.
While you can last days without talking to me, have me make the plans,
and have me talk about other guys to you. This is not love, this is no

dysfunctionality, it is a passive boy who cannot handle the passionate girl.

Elegy

Four years, that seems about right

a time when life was suppose be set for you.

The leaves begin to change and

with them brought a new you. We did

not know this would be a new you but the nights of running

gave us a feeling it would never end,

was there an ending to this maddness?

Waiting for the leaves to reach its fullest red

with a burning that could not be described but only seen

by the eyes looking deep for a feeling that

can only be felt from somewhere deep in the

belly or gut or whatever it is that is said to be

trusted when we cannot trust our heart and mind.

That voice stays with me saying to run

and I did. What was there to run from or to?

The leaves have fallen loosing the comfort of

beauty with the grayness of snow to be coming

but the snow only lingers in the clouds a little

longer as a tease to not let us have the blissful feeling of peace

to enjoy the perfectness of winter first snow fall.

The weather keeps us in with a daunting thought of

having no escape. I walk past the door where you stay not

knowing if I’m free to leave or I must stay. Hallway

begins to narrow in on me without sensing the trap.

Isn’t that what this gut is for? To warn against

these moments of being told to run or stay.

A Moment Ringing

A Moment Ringing

A chime singing through the air

with a glow guiding where

to look for the words waiting to be read,

singing continues letting

it be known the need to open.

Turning heads skipping a beat of

thought to hold onto the words

spinning around. A length

which leave a lasting memory but comes

to a short end. Moment of chills

racing through of peace, pleasure,

what could this be? Pulling to reach

the music. It’s now so close a pause

that takes over of wonder what’s being shared.

The moment has come to hold, hold on tight

and never let this moments pass.

Truth,

no trading a yes or no, or playing around

with words to make them a thing to

justify actions or shed feelings.

Whether it be worse the knowledge of

what is to be said or done, seeing

the struggle one goes through to find

this truth for a life that hidden away

is passages looked over by many due

to others action of saying they know

this but rather than sharing 

this truth

riddles are made to have these

answers be sought out, rather than freely shared.

Music Flow

The beat playing along to each move

we’ve made this night. The spinning when the

music has our head in circles in a way

that shouldn’t make sense but to us it

does. With arms pulling our bodies

closer knowing this is how it all should

be so close where air even feels like

it needs to gasp for a breathe.

We don’t want to release this embrace not from

a passion or a desire for me but being close

to a point of a comfort that settles, the music

takes a breathe giving us a silence that no one

else could see how we look at each other without seeing.

Your Name

I can't explain it, words cannot describe nor do justice
to these thought that run through my mind with a
simple mention of life without a thought of you
coming to me. I hold true to these ideas that these

thoughts are false and mean nothing. All thoughts
are connected to some want or desire, that's all
this comes down to. An unknown desire in which
you reached that gives me no connection or answer

to why you match all these things. Who are
you to add these things to my life? A desire to
do better, be great, no to be an unreachable
goal that those think it's hard to even match

what I have done or what I can do. Seems
like a power struggle to be this on top of it
all. But that is so untrue. With you all things are
possible. I see these parts of my life to want

or have done. I make mistakes and fall short
but your name is always there in a small whisper
to realize I'm wrong and and you know what is to
be done and what is to come. I will listen for your

name to be whispered and for me to feel my heart,
soul, and mind to be at a peace that cannot be matched
nor measured, to know that what I am doing is what
you've planned for me because the desire I have for you.

The Light

The fresh air of the day waking up those
who want to be in the light. The warmth it
gives with the happiness that the brightness
brings a long with it. Aluminizing all around

a joy, peace, and love that makes all those
who see through these eyes can know what
is to come with this light. Not just a light
but a way to live life and to be guided through

these ways and know there is a better way
to live, better plan for our life. Opening up
out ears to hear what is to be said, not said
but shown in a way that one can only

understand and make sense for their own life.
Waking up to this fresh air, the brightness, and
warmth is a speciality I never want to miss.

A Time to Giggle

I share a little but think it's
harmless. Like sharing candy
with a baby. However the taste
you return is a sweeter than
any natural nor processed candy

could ever produce, The lingering
of telling a boy you like him
when you know you love him
with all your heart. Scary to share

how you want to give all of you,
will he then share how he wants
non of you but with out

a word just feel like a toy
forgotten by a child whose out
grown it. A waiting to get
the taste out of your lips with

all of you shaking, wanting
to run knowing this is right, i like you.
And he looks you in the eye,
holds you close and tight
and whispers in your ear
                                        I love you.

Right one Came Along

Wondering path full of daisy's
and plush grass all along a picket
fence when anything that does not
belong would be easily seen. All the

perfect covering the lives that created
this wonderful beauty. Streets thought
to be so pure so full of all that's
good in this white city of perfection

of fences, daisy's and grass.
But he's awaiting down the block
for if the right one came along
to be made his in the
         
                                 darkness this city did not want to be told.