All I Need

Sip of a cold mix of milk and espresso,
takes over ever fibber of my being. Thoughts
racing, heart pumping, an unnerving feeling
shaking display of whether to be or run.

Thoughts of my own, actions obscene,
yet you take all of me. You love me.
Others hide and run from this crazy side.

Bring me closer to your arms, bringing me closer,
not turning away. My heart melts of this unspeakable
love, I cannot understand or touch. Under this mind
only you can love me. Only you want me.

Bring me Back

Needing the chill, inner voice
where do you tell me to run?
Searching the ground, tips of grass
soothing my mind. Racing ahead
it goes to another longing.

Waiting, impatient, where are you now?

Words, processing, girls, tis the season
or month that happens. Dedication to faith
heart beats that tell the truth. Faltering for all.

Simple

This mind that goes at it's own pace, that see it as black or white.
While hers is all sorts of colors. Dialogue is erratic.
He speaks of the chill surround them, pulling in his sweater.
She twirls and takes off her jacket.
Walking up the stairs, focused on the flames that are sure to bring warmth
Grabbing his hand, pulls him to the wind. Awkwardly moving
releasing her hand, opening the door, he settles in the lazy-boy.

Self

Kicking, screaming, taunting, it's on the horizon.
Lingering in the air, it tells a story of it's own.

Within

Lay this paper here, use the paper and pencil to find
the pattern that lays within. Scribbles you're told not
do to. Stay within the lines, but here you make the lines.
Finding a figure within. Life helped on this rule break.

Releasing into this new found pleasure. It's waves come forth
the bumps shown. A symbol to life not being a map to follow.

I Am.

Find me in the quiet,
wait for the world to be sill.
Let the silence encompass you.

Why run when you know I see.
I see all, your comfort only comes
from me. Those object, things, pleasures
they all fail you. Come to me.

Nothing else will bring the joy I do.
Compassion is because of me.
Your peace is what I give you.
Love is the beginning of it all.

Fall

Crisp air grab a hold, my bones quiver
the shawl is pulled tighter, his hand pulls her in closer.

Sweet Apple.

You stand and watch, from a distance so it's like
It's like a play. Yes that's right. You played me.
A play on the world, maybe, yes, even the world was fooled.
I trusted you. Even when I knew better. But you had an apple.

You seemed so sweet and kind. There could be no harm.
A sweet old lady with an apple. I had just thought to make pie.
Watching me. She looked so intently. Maybe it's simply
her age and that is what happens when you're old.
No one could harm me here. No one even knows I'm here.

It's almost as if no one knows I exist. You knew though.
You sought me out. Your evil could not be hidden. His
light shines bright than yours an cast you out. Here I stay
strong. . . Be gone with you. No matter the mask, he tells me the truth.

Breathe.

Voices follow everywhere, saying this and that.
We follow those here and there. Why? What do they have?
What don't I have? It's all about the why and not about
the moment. Who cares?

We need this, you need that. What's important?
Work? Food? Are those the only things with value?

Taking a pause, looking around, see what they have.
Is there true joy there? Are you filled with joy?
What matters? Is it this things? Are things what's important?

People! Breathe. Is it not a beautiful day?
Were you given another day of life?

Look around at those you've neglected.
Say hello, give a smile, be the change. It's not the world
that is completely at fault. We are the world.
If we want a change in the world, it comes from us first.

Caution

Anxious, running like a chicken with it's head cut off,
that's what my insides feel like. I need your peace.
Making quick judgements, acting instantly before thinking.
That's what has gotten me here. A bottomless pit.

Darkness is all around me. I thought I was going the right way.
What a silly thought.

A tugging at my heart and in my gut, saying this was all wrong.
My voice yelled louder to run. The quick pleasure won.

Cradled in the darkness, only your soft voice can reach me.
I am confused by whose speaking to me and what it's asking of me.
What do these riddles mean? Why is it so comforting?
I stand at your asking, unsure of what I'm to do.
One step at a time. You guide me with your love. I finally meet you.

I am in awe with your fulfillment of peace and life.

Filled

There is only one thing, he stands alone, but never leaves me alone.
I can be so grateful and thankful for knowing you. That is all I know.
You call to me when I run. You catch me when I stumble. Both due
to my own self-centered and selfish ways. I cannot always meet what
you ask of me. It seems like to much, but it is not being about to trust
myself with what you've entrusted to me. Your ways are pure. Mine fail.

I wish this would be constant Lord, as constant as you.

Darkness

Ripping from the outside, turning off the lights,
All is being taken over by the darkness.

The past is waiting for the future to grab hold,
Until the moments come all is left waiting in the darkness.

Splitting the wood, removing the axe from the core,
With wanting to put the pieces together but can’t see in darkness.

The dreams the little girl held and never let go,
Got taken away in the nights darkness.

Waiting for the loving touch to come back,
But taken away forever in the darkness.

Being brought back to a time of everything being planned,
To a time of where no one knew of the darkness.

To an underlines defeat of ruins,
While one wants Rebecca out the darkness.

Alone

Trapped is this valley, it has a never ending descend.
You continuous call out to me, but all I hear is each bone
smacking each rock, branch, or tree my limbs smack.
You come searching for me in times of need, when I run
my way, instead of going down the path you've made for me.

The final smack of reaching bottom to have all the junk, pain,
every thought of wrong, be washing over every piece of me.
All I can do is call out for you. Knocking on each door calling
for you, but when I finally come humbly your there with open arms.

Aviators

Hiding from the world,
Becoming a new identity
Thinking of a new attitude.
I give power to those
That wear me.

The dark reflecting gray,
With the subtle roundness.
Or the half mooned shaped
Anyone could pull off.
Many could even feel
A sense of badassness.

Feeling they could be
Fighting back in the war.
Pulling off my look
And could conquer the
World one look at a time.

Who ever wears me, will
Never leave my style.
They gain a new sense
Of confidence, that never ends
People have been rockin’ my
Look since planes were created.

Only One

A peaceful moment that can only be caused by one thing.
There is nothing else that exist that can bring about even
close to being and equal measure of this moment. Many
search their whole life to experience this moment. Filling
the space with money, sex, false intimacy, adrenaline, etc.
Nothing can compare. Only one thing can fulfill that need.

He gives the answers, and brings peace, love,
a compassion that no one else and nothing else
could. This love is never ending nor is he failing. 

One Truth

Tossing and turning is what happens when the darkness comes.
In the light of day, anything seems comfortable. Your presence
keeps me at peace. When the light deep your presence seems to
take over. I feel your warmth and guidance calling to me. When I hear
your voice, I know things are right. His voice is trickier and conniving.

One voice in loving and tender. It hopes to see me succeed. I love waking
up to hearing your peace. I can be so caught up and in a moment of letting
my guard down to hear you, he invades our moments together. Trying to
corrupt the blessing that I just praised for over coming. Your grace guides me.

Glimmer, sparkle, distractions to a raccoon.
Are you more intelligent? Believing I'll fall for these old tricks.
Books tell a story. Poems share and evoke emotions.
Neither give instruction, both fill our head with ideas.

Walk with me. Be my right hand and old it when in need.

Straight and Narrow

Feet going one in front of the other, watching as the pass in a straight line
one continuous line. Then another pair come into the line of view. Words
are coming out of the owners shoes. No threat. Calm tone. Who could
this mystery voice belong to. The shoes begin to stray as his eyes move to see
her skirt flowing in the wind. He trips over himself as he goes to follow the show owner.

Her path isn't straight. Her feet wonder ever which way so so please.
Sometimes she tip toes, others a dance, some times she even rocks on her heels.
He stays flat footed. Planted while zigs and zags off his path. He watches her.
Longing for her feet to match his path. They over lap and moments but he's
memorize but her feet going where she so pleases. She moves with the breeze.

Drop the pages that seek a life
that no longer shows in the writing.
A made up memory. A dispassionate
trial that ended up being so filled
of an unspeakable love.
                                       Or was it a fantasy?

Chills that come crawling up your back, tingles creeping up the body
an uncontrollable reaction. Shivers climb throughout your insides.

History

Meanness is an every lasting continuation.
Women going against one another over their
own insecurities. Instead  of empowering one
another, we tear each other down internally.

With these insecurities we share with our fellow
girlfriends and these thoughts are tossed around,
spread to create deeper insecurities and hatred.

A glance of subtle once over, a look that gives chills
to the one receiving. One that has been perfected
through childhood, short and hardened in high school.
Then chilled in adulthood. No softness with judgement.

I believe in this, moments we share together, tenderness shared.

All of this makes up who we are. Can't you see it? Don't you

want to believe in what we were. Where we are? Come back.

This is where you belong and here is where I wish you'll stay.

Constantly replying that moment in my mind seeing you walk

away on that rainy night. Your shadow from the streetlight is

blurred by the puddles. What it could not hide were my tears

or your face filled with anger. I kneel begging still in that rain.

That girl will always exist in a part of me. Do you remember

her? Or the one who wronged you? I'm standing here as neither.

Gone

A storm comes in, leaving a wake of destruction
neither of them know how to handle to aftershock.
One ignores turning into himself and shutting her out.
She speaks more with no meaning behind it. However
the pain and hurt lingers in the air. It's suffocating.

His mind can't handle what is happening and only
knows to cut her out. He becomes quiet. Reserved.
No one can reach him because no one knows why
he has up these walls of silence. He seems content.
While his world is be shattered and falls to pieces.

Her mind races with each point connecting with
horrible instances. Nothing can stop them from coming.
It takes over ever part of her being. No action can be
acted out, no thought can be processed till it's written
down. The terrible thought that kills everything around.

The shock breaks. Leaving a quiet chill for the world
to come back. Staring at each other they can't even look
one another in the eyes. He goes to speak but she turns
and walks away. The silence is all that's let of their story.

Desire

You take over all my senses.
I cannot think or process what I
should be doing, or what is around me.
You make everything be heightened.

You make everything hot, drawing me
down a path I ignore and know is wrong.
But all it's saying is to follow and give in.
You are strong. I can't resist your calling.

You lead for me to follow. That is all I want
to do. All that my body is willing to do.
I cannot resist that pleasure I know that
you give. I indulge. Cave for just a taste.

You drag me under. All thoughts escape me.
It's only you and I in this moment. Getting
caught up and nothing else exists.
You glow in your victory and leave with a smirk.

She was the shy one, he was the loner.
They seemed perfect and inseparable.
Both hide the truth but when it became
evident neither are willing to face the truth.

Let Down

Time has come. Excitement has been reached.
What to wear? Where to go? Neither know.
Caught up in the excitement, the details don't matter.
Running with one flat on and holding the other
racing down the stairs and out the door.

Heart can't contain this, opening the door to his car
he simply sits back and says, "So what do you want to do."

Shadow

Everywhere where we run there is a shadow that lingers.
Even in the stillness of night. It will be there as a reminder.
It was once apart of a life that has gone on without it. Looking
down on the family going about their normal lives, while it watches
from afar. Busy lives they live. Constantly on the go. No breaks.

Seasons come and go, now the family has grown, children to adults.
New families and faces that it is no longer remembered or spoken
about. A simple nod or gesture fills the role of suiting an explanation.

It comes dress down for holidays. Still in its ragged and torn clothes
that it wears daily. The family is in its best dress. It doesn't fit.
The photo has the nicely dressed members. It's a good thing
ghost cannot be scene on camera. Although it's spot is never replaced.

Even thought it's a shadow and not spoken about, the truth and love never fails.

New Month, Time for Photos!

These first two are from a hike I went on with a friend at 7 Lakes Drive

These next shots are from when I went to Central Park this past weekend with another friend:

Knots, blots, cots
tie these things,
hold them up, possibly
keep things trapped.

blots, cots, mops

Quiet

Calm, peace, mediation, that is what's said to bring ease in moments of calamity,
What if that moment is what brings the paranoia?
Silence is my fear. It lets my mind wander to my subconscious. Letting everything
I've ignored be brought to light. Darkness helps lock it away.
Can silence be darkness? It creeps along on it's own, creating uneasiness,
making moments unsettling,
                                              terror creeps along.

Thoughts are Your Undoing

Best friend turned lover, that how we're told the story of life goes.
Guys and girls cannot be best friend, or closer than they are with
their friends of the same sex. Oh dear! No, you can't possible. What?

Such a ridiculous world or concept. No, it's true. This barrier
it's needed to not have feelings for the other to know the secrets
that we keep. Ideas enter the mind of a possible future. More than a future.
A connection. Than another. All these thoughts open up to be in
you mind. Taking over how you think daily, how you go about things.
The worst is how you feel. This is where it all goes wrong.

The other knows this moment and time has come. It's not reciprocated.

Never Let Me Go

The waves crashing over me, carrying me from you
in a moment of passion. Torment. This voice carries
my thoughts towards you but lies tearing apart my heart.
Come to me. Don't let me run. I push you as far as possible.
Everything in me is says you should have run. I can't break you.
The way you care and love. It's suffocating. Takes everything
in me to accept that you'll always be here to hold on to,
to care for. A safety that I reject and don't accept but you stay with me.
Waiting for me to stop and accept things the way they are.

Accept this? A thing that brings me in close and feels
like a safety net in this never ending storm. An acceptance,
you make this feel as though it should be right, just, love.
How can this be love when you release me I've given into
this lie? Love is not a storm settling. Its over coming it. The chaos
turns to silence that only makes sense to the those embracing.
Hold on to the truth. Never let passion take over truth.

The Lost

Beginning to an end, an end to a new
what does that even mean? Cutting your passive voice
out of my brain, leaving lace like scaring of memories to connect
to my vain pulsing through to my heart. Moving deeper
it consumes me. My heart beckons for you, my mind
buries you, and lips wouldn't speak you name.

Pace

Which way to run, which way to scream?
What is the proper way to go, so many questions - notes - things
all over the place. This way we could turn. I told you not to.
Then run along this way. Turn. Sharp. Run down. Slow down.
Walk this way. Wait. Pause. Take a breathe. No one else is here.

That tingling feeling of a desire so strong it takes over the mind completely,
Every action and desire is pushed by a single thought, a single pleasure, a moment
that comes so quickly and is over as fast as it began. There is no need to have
this moment stop. A desire this strong only grows till the pleasure has been met.

Nothing can deny or stop it. It takes over every thought. Invading even the innocent
gesture or over view. Guys are judged so much for not using their mind when they think.
Women are the same. It's only worse. Their pleasure is an easier fix they could do
them self. Girls need the pleasure of each thought to be fulfilled. Till that fulfillment enjoy the crazy.